When I was a child, I was terrified of falling asleep with my hand hanging off the bed, touching or almost touching the floor. The reason was simple: as far as I can remember, when I was very young I once saw a kind of monster—the sort of creature children sometimes imagine—that came to grab my hand. Whether it really wanted to eat it or something else, I never knew; what mattered was that it seemed to slip under my bedroom door and lunge at me.
Because of that, for quite some time I had to make sure that no part of my body was sticking out of the bed when I went to sleep.
As I grew older and became more rational, I started thinking that the only way to find out whether that creature was still waiting for me was to set a trap. If I wanted to overcome my fear of nighttime attacks, I had to face it directly. So I began to sleep again with my arm deliberately hanging off the bed, almost touching the floor.
Not on the first night, nor the second, nor any night after that, did the monster from my childhood ever appear. Being able to fall asleep like that made me realize that I was no longer afraid of anything that might show up, no matter how frightening it looked.
Our Deepest Fears Are Our Greatest Obstacles
We all have fears, phobias, and insecurities: fear of public speaking, fear of social interaction, fear of success—which is actually one of the most common—fear of things going well, fear of being loved, fear of being hurt… and the list could go on.
These fears are often hidden deep within our subconscious, quietly limiting us until something—or someone—brings them to the surface. One of the most uncomfortable experiences we can have is being forced to face a part of ourselves that we would rather ignore. It means suddenly seeing, clearly and directly, something we have tried to keep buried inside.
And yet, there is no greater obstacle to personal growth than refusing to confront and overcome the walls we ourselves have built.
Identifying Your Greatest Fear
The first step to overcoming anything is identifying it. This does not mean digging up everything at once, but rather focusing on what is currently holding you back the most—what is preventing you from moving forward in one or more areas of your life.
Maybe you are afraid of meeting new people, and it is slowly isolating you. Maybe your fear of speaking in public is limiting your career opportunities. Or perhaps your fear of being hurt is affecting your relationships.
Whatever it is, identify the fear that is most blocking you right now and write it down.
Accepting Your Fear Is the First Step to Overcoming It
There is a technique known as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which has become popular partly because it teaches us to acknowledge what we want to overcome. The idea is to repeat—mentally, out loud, or in writing—something along the lines of:
“Even though I am afraid of [X], I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Any variation of this works. The purpose is to bring into conscious awareness what we want to face—and ultimately release. Once something emerges from the shadows of the subconscious, you have already won the first battle.
Understanding the Root Causes
What makes us behave this way or hold onto this fear? If it is deeply rooted—a phobia or a trauma—the inner work required will be more extensive than if it is something more temporary with a clearly identifiable cause.
If you cannot work through it on your own, seeking help can be a valuable step. Personal coaching, therapy, or alternative approaches such as hypnosis or regression techniques may help uncover the underlying cause.
Understanding the root of the problem is more than just winning a battle—it is almost like striking the final blow against it.
Face It and Move Beyond It
The final step is to recreate the situations that once made you feel paralyzed or afraid to act. Give that presentation in front of a large audience, go to a bar and start conversations with strangers, express your deepest feelings to someone you care about, open yourself to prosperity and abundance.
It takes courage, but it is the only real path forward if you truly want to overcome your fear. How long it takes to feel comfortable in situations that once terrified you is not what matters most.
What truly matters are two things: the method you develop for breaking down your inner barriers, and the confidence that comes from knowing that no matter what lies within you, it can be overcome.